The Beginning

I guess I started putting on weight in the third grade at least that is what the pictures show. I was always picked on in school either for being fat or being poor. I hated to go to school and I missed alot of days pretending to be sick. The funny thing is I never told my parents what was going on. They were clueless. At school I would try to pretend I was something that I wasn't for example my cousins would go places and tell me about them and I would go to school and say that I had gone to these places and done theses things. And at home I would say that I had lots of friends and pretend like I was part of the crowd. So I really feel like most of my life was a great big game of pretending. It even went as far as when I got older I pretended I had boyfriends which I really didn't. My parents were very over protective of me as far as letting me do things such as going to dances or having sleep overs. I know for a fact that from 1st grade-9th grade I only spent the night with one girl from my school. So maybe that is the reason that I'm good at pretending to be happy when really I'm not I had alot of practice. I never had any self confidence. When I would have to get up in front of the class I would keep my head down. I had a very difficult time making eye contact with anyone. Also from 1st grade to 9th grade I went to school with the same set of kids. That would change come 10th grade and I thought my life would change also. Some parts did and some parts didn't.