Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Got the blahs
Yesterday morning I was in a great mood I started cleaning my office and was getting things done and when people asked me how I was I said actually for a Monday I feel really good. And then all of a sudden the good feelings went away and I felt sad and depressed so much so that I went to bed at 8:00 last night and I still feel the same today. Sad, fat and depressed. I wish I had a button that I could push in my brain and I would feel good all the time. I feel like a failure at everything I do or try to do. How do people get to that place where they are determined to do something and stay there. It's like I have no gumption I want to get healthy. I want to be a mother that my daughter can be proud of. I want those things badly. Or do I?? It seems to me that I since I want it so bad I should be able to accomplish it but I never do. Is there something wrong in my brain that makes me sabotage myself. Sometimes I am eating and drinking soda and I feel like I'm on auto pilot. Like I'm just doing it to be doing it like eating candy out of that dang candy bowl. I know what I need to do and I know that only I can do it so why don't I just do it. It sounds easy but it's not. I think I just really hate myself. I must because if I didn't I would get it right.
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Don't be so hard on yourself. We all get to feeling down like that tripsha. It's NORMAL!!! I think that was a big thing I had to learn that I was pretty normal. Even now I get down. If you've read all my post you know that, up and down I go. I think obesity and depression go hand in hand. What I found that helped was just doing the things I didn't want to, the biggest being exercise. They say 21 days make a habit but I think it's more like 4 months lol. I know it took walking EVERYDAY for 4 months for me to get that click finally. So stop beating yourself up. It does seem overwhelming at times but you can do it you really can. As for hating yourself, loving yourself does play a part in it all. We have to feel worthy. I think therapy is where I finally started feeling worthy, maybe you could consider that. Anyway, I'm here, I'm reading and I'm rooting you on. Just don't go away on me that would be the worst thing you could do for yourself. *big hug*
ReplyDeleteHi, how are you doing today? Come and talk to me. If you would rather email with me I'm all for that too bbubblyb@gmail.com. Hope you're having a good day.
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